I’ve lived in a metropolitan area since 1999. Not a suburb, real downtown
neighborhoods: Lincoln Park, Lakeview, River North, New East Side. All Chicago. 27
years. I’ve literally had people ask where in Chicago, believing I was “making up” living
in Chicago (and the humility was quite phenomenal), when I revealed my location. I
understand that skepticism. Yet I also know the difference as I’ve met people who say
they live in Chicago and discover they live no where near it.
But now, I’m moving. To an actual suburb. And it’s exciting and anxiety-provoking. My
anxiety has been manageable these past couple of years. Being in recovery (alcohol
and drug free), I’ve managed the self-medication and learned the core truth about my
anxiety. I’ve found a different path to understand it. Moving, however, stirred it up. City
living is one thing. Suburban living is quite the opposite. That is an example of the
pendulum.
This pendulum is not new to me. I’ve experienced this numerous times in my life: before
the pandemic, during the pandemic, and now. And the third time, well, they say it’s the
charm. I’m not sure what that means, but wisdom comes and whispers that I know more
than I’m giving myself credit for. That is something I’ve been working on. And being a
third time also indicates a pattern (there’s a saying that once is random, twice is
coincidence and three times is a pattern). I follow patterns now. I observe them,
because they are significant. This is a shift for me and evens feels different, almost like
a movie moment. You know, like when you’re sitting in a theatre watching the big
screen, the lights are low and the theater is dark. You’re absorbed in the movie moment
and the female character on the big screen face is visible with a look you don’t know
how to describe but the music playing tells you something about the moment? That is
this moment. I don’t know what the music yet is playing. I’ve waiting for that.
In reality, though, what I know is I have the opportunity to start over. This is a new
chapter for me. I discovered this subjective harmony of removing myself from a place
that holds too much of things that no longer serve me to a new space to holds more
promise of abundance and possibilities. That is hope and trust I am creating and making
a reality. It aligns more with my core truth than an old space I tried to reinvent that hold
energetic imprints I still “feel” and experience in ways I cannot shake. Starting over is
the best option. Sometimes you have to destroy what was for a fresh foundation.
Creation comes from destruction. That is the cycle. The seasons follow this, life follows
this, so in reality, it makes sense that if I want to start fresh, and create the abundance
beyond what I think is possible, starting fresh is one option. The pictures are evidence.
You can’t argue with facts.
Here is a link to learn more about The Pendulum
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmhQ_a9wCcU&list=PLnkZaN_h1jhWWfjtTNgrxdt2
6tUbdzzea&index=39
Wadhwa PsyD, LCPC, CADC, RYT
