I have lived in a metropolitan area since 1999. Not a suburb — real downtown neighborhoods: Lincoln Park, Lakeview, River North, New East Side. All Chicago. 27 years. I have literally had people ask where in Chicago, believing I was making up living in Chicago — and the humility was quite phenomenal — when I revealed my location. I understand that skepticism. Yet I also know the difference, as I have met people who say they live in Chicago and discover they live nowhere near it.
But now, I am moving. To an actual suburb. And it is exciting and anxiety-provoking.
Recovery, Anxiety, and the Pendulum
Being in recovery from alcohol — over three years now, something I have talked about openly on my podcast — I have learned the core truth about my anxiety and found a different path to understand it. Moving, however, stirred it up. City living is one thing. Suburban living is quite the opposite. That is an example of the pendulum.
The pendulum is a concept I return to often in my work and in my own life. It represents the natural swing between opposites — stability and change, comfort and growth, the life we have and the life we are moving toward.
The Pattern of the Pendulum — Three Times
This pendulum is not new to me. Before the pandemic, things were routine and stable on the surface, but something felt stagnant. I knew I needed something different, I just did not know what. Then during the pandemic, everything that had been stabilizing me was taken away at once. That shift was profound. And now, this move.
The third time — well, they say it is the charm. I am not sure what that means, but wisdom comes and whispers that I know more than I am giving myself credit for. That is something I have been working on.
Being a third time also indicates a pattern. There is a saying that once is random, twice is coincidence, and three times is a pattern. I follow patterns now. I observe them, because they are significant.
Not Every Swing Is the Same
The pendulum I experienced before and during the pandemic was not about a move. Those were different swings — internal, environmental, relational. Each one taught me something. Each one shifted something. What I know now is that I follow patterns. I observe them, because they are significant.
This feels different from those earlier swings. Almost like a movie moment. You know, like when you are sitting in a theatre watching the big screen, the lights are low and the theatre is dark. You are absorbed in the moment, and the female character on the big screen has a look on her face you do not know how to describe — but the music playing tells you something about the moment. That is this moment. I do not know what music is playing yet. I have been waiting for that.
Starting Over — Subjective Harmony and the New Chapter
In reality, what I know is this: I have the opportunity to start over. This is a new chapter.
I discovered this subjective harmony of removing myself from a place that holds too much of what no longer serves me — moving toward a new space that holds more promise of abundance and possibilities. That is hope and trust I am creating and making a reality.
When Creation Comes From Destruction
It aligns more with my core truth than an old space I tried to reinvent — a space that holds energetic imprints I still feel and experience in ways I cannot shake. Starting over is the best option.
Sometimes you have to destroy what was in order to build a fresh foundation. Creation comes from destruction. That is the cycle. The seasons follow this. Life follows this. So if I want to start fresh and create the abundance beyond what I think is possible, starting fresh is one option. The pictures are evidence. You cannot argue with facts.
You Don’t Have To Have It All Figured Out
I do not know exactly what this next chapter looks like yet. I do not think I need to. What I do know is that I have been through change before, and I have come out the other side each time with something new about myself. That is enough to hold onto right now.
If you are sitting with anxiety about moving, whether it is your first move or your fifth, be gentle with yourself. The discomfort is not a sign that you are doing something wrong. It is often just a sign that you are doing something new. That doubt and fear that shows up at the start of something new isn’t unusual either. I wrote about that same feeling in New Beginnings, where I talk about the mix of fear and quiet knowing that tends to show up whenever a new chapter starts.
Learn More About the Pendulum
Want to go deeper on the concept of the pendulum and how it connects to living by design rather than by conditioning? Watch this episode of the podcast.
🎙️ Watch The Pendulum on YouTube
If you are in the middle of your own life transition and are not sure what the next chapter looks like, that is exactly what the work is for. A free consultation is a no-pressure conversation to explore what starting over could mean for you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to feel anxiety about moving, even to a place you’re excited about? Yes. You can look forward to a move and still feel anxious about it at the same time. Both feelings can be true together, and neither one cancels out the other.
Why does moving bring up old patterns or old feelings? Big changes tend to stir up whatever is still unresolved. Moving often brings old feelings to the surface simply because it disrupts routine and familiar surroundings, which are two things that usually help keep anxiety in check.
What can help with anxiety about moving? Naming the feeling, keeping a small routine in place, noticing patterns from past moves, and focusing on what the new space can offer are all small steps that can help the transition feel more manageable.
